Them jokes
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
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Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
All of them suck.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?