That jokes
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.
With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.
His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.
In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.
Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.
For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!