That jokes

Church

    • One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.

    His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.

    The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”

    “That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”

  • 1

    • Shrek

    • Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

  • 2

    • Bathroom

    • What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

    Watch

    • My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

  • 1
    • That memes

    Hairline

    • Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

    Forehead

    • So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

    Boy

    • I wrote a few jokes:

    What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

    Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

    What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

  • 0

    • Politics

    • President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

    Oh well, that's politics.

  • 3

    • Poopoo

    • Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

    You) I 1 poopoo

    (Them) I 2 poopoo

    (You) I 3 poopoo

    (Them) I 4 poopoo

    (You) I 5 poopoo

    (Them) I 6 poopoo

    (You) I 7 poopoo

    (Them) I 8 poopoo

    And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

  • 2

    • Gun

    • My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

    Friend

    • Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

    Me: Me.

    Friend: *does nothing*

    (x_x)

    I forgot that I don't have friends.

    Nazi

    • Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?

    They couldn't beet the Nazis.

  • 2