That Jokes

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"

"Dave who?"

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

A bedroom with a purple pillow and a pink sheet. A puddle of fluid is visible on the sheet, and a black vibrator is next to it. The text says: "I wonder what song she was singing that made her cry so much."

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”