That jokes
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.
Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.
As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.