That jokes

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!

Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

A wee hard man.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?

Banana Joe: No.

Darwin: Is it a leaf?

Banana Joe: No.

Gumball: What is it then?

Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!

What is the difference between the snow boots on a tree house that has to walk home and walk home?

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.

You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.

It wasn't that funny.

So I just Snickered.