That jokes

Orphan

    • Why do orphans hate Geometry?

    Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

    I know this is a very corny joke.

    Toy

    • Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

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    • Boss

    • When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

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    • Fridge

    • Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

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    • That memes

    Basketball

    • When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

    My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

    He didn't realize what was about to happen.

    "That's what she said!"

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    • Clothing

    • I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

    Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

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    • Man

    • A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

    Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

    Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

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    • Depression

    • Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

    Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

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    • Misunderstanding

    • A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

    The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

    That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

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    • Russian Forces

    • I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

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    • Car Door

    • Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

    One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

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    • Criminal Record

    • The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

    I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

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