That jokes
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Your life, that's all.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.