That jokes

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!

Rob: .....BECKY :3

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn't!

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?

I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

smart

kind

sweet

caring

loving

mature

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?

All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?

That.

What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?

A plane wingless.

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.