That jokes
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Your life, that's all.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.