That jokes

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

Pork-chop!

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

First human comes.

Sans: That was pun intended.

That is not a joke hahahahhaha.