That jokes

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.

The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.

My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

What do you call a banana that can dance?

CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.