Tell jokes

Tell me a joke.

My life.

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

Friend: Hi, orphan.

Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.

Friend: ummm

Orphan: Exactly, U can't.

Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?

There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).