Tell jokes
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Memes
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?