Tell jokes
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.