What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "your adopted" the sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
My life
Tell me when you get it
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
How to you trick a catholic priest into using the glory hole at a adult bookstore? tell him it is a confessional booth
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
