Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
doctor: i'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left. man: what?! what about my family??! my son is still missing! i can't just leave like that! doctor: don't worry sir, i told your family. man: that's.. great.. if they found my son, tell them that i love him more than anything and i couldn't keep that promise. the doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes. doctor: i will... dad..
tq for reading my crappy joke
three conspiracy theories walked into a bar now tell me that's not a coincidence.
tell me a joke . ok your face
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.. Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.. Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》 The one on the phone: 《Oh hi i'm Jeff i just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you》 Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! this is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! it gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke and she cried alot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil but it has no point to it
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want ,but I've got thick skin.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up. I mean honestly, what are they going to do tell there parents? 😂😂
Guy tells his pal...My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or boy. "Congrats man...what are you gonna name it if it's a boy? .... We're going with Trevor. Ok, what if it's a girl?... then we'll have an abortion.
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: *gasps* whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off... Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn't exciting, make something up!
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil.... But it’s quite point less
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres. XD
the only problem being short and gay is that when ever i try to tell people im top in my relationship they don't believe me because im shorter then the person im dating like wtf
i was gonna tell you a great pun, but its too cheesy
How can you tell if a polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks are missing! What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender. How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
