Television jokes
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?
Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.