Television jokes
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
George Floyd was in a TV show, "Fresh Prince of no hair."
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."