Television jokes

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because the parents are in every episode.

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔

Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!

Aw hell naw,

dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What TV series do orphans hate?

"House, M.D."

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.