Television jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Not quite my tempo
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.