Television jokes

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because the parents are in every episode.

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?

Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?

That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.