Television jokes
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"