Television jokes

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

How do you find Will Smith?

You look for the Fresh Prince.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

AOT > ur fav anime.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

George Floyd was in a TV show, "Fresh Prince of no hair."

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

What show do orphans never watch?

"Fuller House."

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

Wow, no SP jokes?

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.