Technology jokes
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.
I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!