Technology jokes
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What do cells always have on them?
A cell phone!
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What's up?
A rocket from NASA.
OMG SO FUNNYY!
Does anyone know how to add pictures? Like, I need to know.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
Microwave.