Technology Jokes

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

Hehe

How did Stephen Hawking really die?

His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Sell PC.

Go to Croatia.

Try to fly to the US to meet female.

US won't let me in.

End up in Norway.

Female leaves me.

Female gets arrested by feds.

Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

Just another day in the defib life.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?

132.513.531.332

I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!

How is Stephen Hawking dead?

His Windows shit down.

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Because it's wheely wheely great!

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

What is the difference between an American and a computer?

An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

I think my penis has facial recognition.