Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Electricity.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk Over charge himself
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep
