Technology jokes

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

What did the blond say about the new iPhone?

Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.

What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

"Windows 10 shutting down."

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.