Technology jokes

Psyonix's OCE servers.

Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ... so Trump can't tweet it.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.

I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

Why can't orphans have an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.

"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.

What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?

"Windows Shut Down."

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

What do you call a bored robot?

A “sigh”-borg.

I saw a robbery at the Apple store.

Am I an iWitness?

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.