Technology jokes

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.

My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

Error 404 File Not Found.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

How do computers get drunk?

They take a screenshot.

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.