Technology jokes
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Where's your off button?
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
What is the difference between Twitter and this website?
There's no difference.
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.
I made a website about orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.