When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
If I die, delete my search history.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
