Technology jokes
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Me when i was 7 be like
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."