Technology jokes
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Me when i was 7 be like
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.