Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
