Technology jokes

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.

What do you call a creepy IT teacher?

A PDF file.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection.

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?

What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.