Technology jokes
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.