Technology jokes

How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."

What do you call a creepy IT teacher?

A PDF file.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection.

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!