Technology jokes

What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?

The local Aryan network.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TikTok was an alarm setup.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

What do you call an Asian phone? Wing Wing.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.