Technology jokes

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

I made a website about orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?

The local Aryan network.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TikTok was an alarm setup.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

What do you call an Asian phone? Wing Wing.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!