Technology jokes
Whatβs the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Hey Siri, whatβs in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, youβre so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! Youβre so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! Youβre so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I left my Avatar at home today.
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dadβs in the kitchen!
Your momβs husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
I made a website about orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.