Technology jokes
Where's your off button?
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I left my Avatar at home today.
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.