Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
