Technology jokes
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."