Technology jokes
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON.
Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
"Room, you on."
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".