Team jokes
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
What do you call a group of emo friends?
THE SUICIDE SQUAD!
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.