Team jokes
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.