Team jokes
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.