Teacher Jokes

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

Johnny: “A new bike!”

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Ignore the dumbass watermark

The image shows three panels. The first one shows Mr. Incredible smiling, with the text "Saying 'Oops' as a Teacher" above him. The second panel shows Mr. Incredible in a darker tone and more serious expression with the text "Saying 'Oops' as a Surgeon" above him. The third panel shows Mr. Incredible in a completely black tone, with just his eyes, nose, mouth and ear visible, and the text "Saying 'Oops' as a Nuclear Physicist" above him.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.