Teacher Jokes

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher : hi there class my name is Mr. willy i will be yo math teacher *Me in shock Willy* Me : Willy Wonka is that you?!

This. This, is my class.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words? Student: Ukraine is History!

I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said "dont worry babe, ill callculater."

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”

The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,

"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class.

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year couldn't you"

teachr. How many kids r I'n this classroom. Kid: 73 if u count the ones u have hid in the basement

Teacher: whats 55 flowers plus 67 flowers? Kid: a garden? Teacher: did I tell you that you're adopted?

What do orphans and homework have in common? Everybody forgets about them

school would be a lot different if the quiet kid had a rpg

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school. I had to listen to it at twenty four seven, after that I sang the song the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

why are orphans so naughty at school its not like the teacher is gonna call theyre parents

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas and he said "atlast you can have one"

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

imagine this: u at math class. Teacher asks you “wut 11*11”. You say “120”. Teach syas “wrong!” You say “how off was I?” Teach says “1” me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or smth liek tht

In the cute fantasies: Est-ce que tu manges du poulet ? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN !!!!! In reality: Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!