Teacher jokes

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?

Students: Yeah, yours.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.

What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?

Obi-Wan Canopy