Teacher

Teacher jokes

Stuff

    • The Good Old Days.

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

  • 1

    • Lung

    • What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

    Breathing exercises.

    I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

  • 1

    • Hairline

    • Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

    Pornography

    • It was pornography class, and there was a break.

    Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

    Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

    Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

    Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

    Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    Teacher: Where's the D?

    Adult 2: Inside me...

  • 0

    • Water

    • One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

    The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

    The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

    The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

    Teacher memes

    Music

    • The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

    Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

  • 1

    • Alphabet

    • In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."

  • 9

    • Boner

    • Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

  • 0

    • Orphan

    • So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

  • 1

    • Programmer

    • I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

    They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

  • 0

    • Friend

    • I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

    Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

    Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

  • 2

    • Homework

    • One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

    A student says: "Bacon!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

    A student says: "Eggs!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

    A student says: "Homework!"

    The whole class laughs.