Teacher

Teacher jokes

School

    • Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

    Homework

    • One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

    A student says: "Bacon!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

    A student says: "Eggs!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

    A student says: "Homework!"

    The whole class laughs.

    Government

    • A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

    In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

  • 6

    • Orphan

    • Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

    Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

    Teacher: Why?

    Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

    Teacher memes

    School

    • Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

    Equation

    • Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

    Student: 69 gay = xxx

    Teacher: You're out!!!

    Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

    😂😂😂😂

  • 0

    • Hitler

    • Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

  • 1

    • Twin

    • If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.

  • 2

    • Penny

    • Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

    Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

    Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

    Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

  • 4

    • Nobody

    • Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

    Nobody stands up.

    After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

    Little Johnny stands up.

    "Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

    "Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

    Food

    • Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."

  • 1

    • PSG

    • I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

    My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

  • 0

    • Elephant

    • Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"

  • 0