Q: why did sally survive the car accident A: she hit an ambulance
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”
3 men where in a desert 1 man was holding a jug the 2nd was holding a paper bag and the last was holding a car door a man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug he said it was his water and if he got thirsty he would take a drink. Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag the guy said this is my packed lunch so if I get hungry I will eat my lunch. Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said it he got hot he would roll down the window.
What does vin diesel eat for dinner Survival Guilt
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh how did I survive. Fortunately being her husband I was the 1 person she wasn't fucking.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
Man Cancer is so easy to beat, I'm already on stage 4
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew and a black man on top of the Empire State Building. First the Mexican and the Jew throws there selves off of the building saying ‘ This is for my people’ Than the black is next up to jump and says ‘This is for my people’ And throws the White man off of the building.
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
Bro the twin towers are like my grandpa and his friends one survived/ my grandpa the others have fallen/ his friends
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?...... That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle
There are 4 people on a airplane and the pilot has a heart attack and dies the plane is going down and there are also only 3 parachutes so the guy who knows how to cure cancer says I’m jumping I can save many lives the the 46 president joe Biden says I’m take ing the 2 one so there is only one left Donald trump says to the 7 year old girl I have lived a long life u an take the next one so the little girl says that’s ok the 46 president took my back pack.lol
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”
Who were the people that survived 9/11? The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"
What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!...water...yup,water...
