I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
