Surgery jokes
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Cut.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail. "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out. "What is it?" The doctor asks. "I can't feel my legs!" The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded. ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.