Surgery jokes
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.