Surgery jokes
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.