Bungee jokes

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?

Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!

What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?

You feel the rush, but don't look down.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.