Suicide jokes
My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)