If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Suicide Jokes
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
