Suicide

Suicide jokes

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

  • 4
  • What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

    America's funniest home videos.

  • 2
  • Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

    Person: Yea, why?

    Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)