Suicide jokes
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.