Street jokes
Floor on the road?
If you play Minecraft too much, you belong to the streets.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
Tork Poettschke & Jack London walk down the street together. One asks the other, "May I stand in the middle?"
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk" home from a tree house? 🏠
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.
Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)
Boobless.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.