Strategy jokes
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.