Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
He plays Fortnite just to build walls.
