When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
How do you beat lady gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face
How do blondes play real life jenga? By stacking humans.
Two towers.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
Where does Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him. I asks him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised, he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
Tonight Im Making A Fort, Im Calling It Fortnite
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
