I was walking to the store and then this boy told me "I'm an orphan and I have no money" he wanted M&Ms I gave him Family sized
What store is the most public?
Publix!
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Yo mama so fat I couldn't the the store
Yo, dad so stupid he brought the milk after 2 years and he said oh sorry son in a go back to the store bye.
WHY DID THE GRANDMPA LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE???? TO GET THE ICE CREAM FOR THE GRANDMA
I went to self-checkout at a store and i scanned my products. But the scanner wouldn ́t scan the barcode on my arm.
i like dicks.......sporting goods
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player? The frog might be on his way to a gig!
The man was Indian he moved to England because he wanted to learn so got a job at the store he learned how to say register then he was a business man he learned how to say 59887 then returant so he learned how to say fork and knifes so a man came with a knife the cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him he said him he pointed to the Indian man the cop asked what did you use he said register cop asked for ID 59887the cop asked anything on you forks and knife he said me me me
So a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half of then the man says wow school supplies are low the week
Hey dad are you finally back with the milk dad: yea but it's expired so ima go back to the ''milk store'' and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
I went into the supermarket everything was half off. of course I took the bottom half of spider man
I will be back, im gonna get milk..... Me:....
You never think of how people will react to an event, my friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why do orphans hate Cosco? Because they cant get in and try the free samples
aking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
