Store jokes
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!