Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Store Jokes
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
