One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
