The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!