Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
Drawers!
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
What do you call a redhead in a fridge?
I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?