Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
